Forgiveness Is Key To Opening the Door To Success

The Door You Select Determines Your Success

Who hasn’t been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent who constantly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. Or maybe you’ve had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you.

Here’s something to think about. Your pain may have been the result of an action (or non-action) by someone who had no intent to hurt you! What does this mean? Well, fundamentally, it means that we are allowing the words or actions of the past to affect our present circumstances.

Whatever your situation, these wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of fear, anger and bitterness — even vengeance.

But if you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Forgiveness can lead to:

  • Healthier relationships
  • Improved mental health
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • A stronger immune system
  • Improved heart health
  • Improved self-esteem

How do I reach a state of forgiveness?

Well, before we get to fixing the problem, let’s define it. Forgiveness means different things to different people. Generally, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. But it can also mean more. It can also mean that you deciding to release some long-held fear as well.

The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Now, that doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm.

Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause fear, anger, sadness and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own fear, bitterness or sense of injustice. 

However, forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

Forgiveness is a commitment to a personalized process of change.

But fundamentally, the choice is yours. You can continue to stay in the state of life you’re living in. But, I presume you’re reading this because you’d like to achieve more in your business and your life. If that’s true, then to move from suffering to forgiveness, you might try the following 6 steps:

  1. Take Responsibility
  2. Accept What Happened
  3. Separate The Person From The Act
  4. Work To Release Your Emotions
  5. Step In The Other Person’s Shoes
  6. Opportunity


The first step in forgiving is to take responsibility for your emotions—not necessarily responsibility for the situation, but how it made you feel. Emotions are a choice. To forgive, you must recognize that it is your emotion and stop blaming others for how you choose to feel. Pain is real, but suffering is a choice.


Whatever happened, happened. You cannot change the past. Accepting what happened allows you to move from the past to the present. Healing happens in the present. This doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened, but dwelling on it or wishing it had been different doesn’t serve you. Accept it, learn from it, and begin creating the future you deserve.

So many people hold onto anger and animosity toward someone who has been dead for years, or one group of people is hostile toward another for something their ancestors did generations ago. This can end up being a waste of time and energy that could be used elsewhere.


One of the most important parts of forgiveness is to separate the person from the act. There are many acts which can never be forgiven: murder, rape, child abuse, etc. However, you can always forgive the person who committed the act. Focus your forgiveness on the person, not what was done by the person.


Whatever emotions you are still feeling—anger, sadness, fear, guilt—are the stress and toxicity locked into your physiology, diminishing your quality of life. Take some time to be quiet, be aware of the emotion mentally, and then feel it physically in your body. It will show up as some pain, tightness, or other discomfort. Now, do something physical to release the sensation. This could be jumping, running, shouting, or breathing forcefully. Whatever you do should require some effort. Imagine you are forcing that sensation out of your body.


Next, see if you can begin to understand why this person might have done what was done—what was going on in that person’s life at the time. Maybe put yourself in that person’s shoes and ask yourself, “What would it have taken for me to do that? How much pain and suffering or distorted thinking would I have had to be experiencing to do that?” Remember, everyone, including you, is doing the best they can from their level of awareness, no matter how confused that might have been at the time.


Every experience or situation holds the gift of an opportunity for growth. If you view life as problems, you miss these gifts. No matter how dark the experience might have seemed, look for the opportunity. Your spiritual strength and awareness comes from seeing the opportunities.


As you observe, evaluate and then let go of your grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt. You can begin controlling your thoughts proactively which can lead you to taking the appropriate actions to get you the results you want.

And it just might even allow you to find compassion and understanding. And these feeling go a LONG way to serving your needs and your customer’s needs too.